As a leader in the upper middle Jeffreys Bay region’s micro nut butter vertical, Lush Yummy takes their corporate social responsibility, as outlined by various online virtue signalling gurus, very seriously.
I don’t often use the word, very. The issue has to be very serious for me to use the word. Or I’m just so dang lazy right now, I can’t think of a good simile.
Any case, I digress.
What good is a nut butter, if it’s no good?
I don’t mean taste.
Whether it tastes freaking phenomenal or not is beside the point.
I mean, morally good.
A nut butter that wants to be taken seriously in this day and age, is a nut butter that steps up and looks after the community.
At the very least, it SAYS that it’s doing some or other thing that might be geared towards looking like it might do some good, possibly to a person, or maybe an animal, some or other time, perhaps.
And then posts it to social media for likes and shares.
Now, that’s what nut butter is all about.
I asked ChatGPT, our overlord-to-be, about CSR, and it spat out some points I nearly spent 15 seconds pondering.
Here they are:
- Environmental sustainability.
- Ethical labour practices.
- Philanthropy.
- Community engagement.
- Transparency.
Honestly, Lush Yummy subscribes to all of those points, and strongly condemns anything to the contrary.
Let’s take those points one-by-one.
Environmental sustainability
You’ll notice Lush Yummy nut butter comes in plastic jars.
The reason for this is so we can save the trees.
We could use glass, but that’ll make the product too expensive, which means you have to work harder to afford it, which causes your carbon footprint to skyrocket past that of a rich man who attends eco-friendly events in his private jet.
You could always swing by the office, scoop your hand into a big bucket of nut butter, jam it into your mouth and call it a win for the ecology, but you’d be driving to and from the office a number of times every day.
Yes, this nut butter is so good that you’d want to dip your fingers into it multiple times a day, but that’s not sustainable.
No, just accept the plastic jar.
And if you really think about it, it’s kind of cool, too, the plastic jar.
Like a Tretchikoff painting.
Ethical labour practices
Lush Yummy does not pay their employee in a bowl of rice each day.
It also does not call its employee GAYEE when he starts crying for stupid reasons.
Lush Yummy furthermore does not scream at its employer if the employer doesn’t pay him.
Confused?
Oh, wait, that’s cos Lush Yummy is a one-man show.
Lush Yummy is both the employer and the employee.
Philanthropy
Lush Yummy management is deffos for philanthropy.
In fact, management often buys Lush Yummy employees nice things, thereby ensuring employees remain happy, despite receiving no pay.
Community engagement
This comes easy for Lush Yummy.
Whenever a jar of nut butter is sold, that jar is handed to the person who bought it, necessitating engagement.
It’s downright rude to pass a jar of incredible nut butter to someone, take their money, and not say a word.
So we engage.
We say, “Thank you for your money. Hope you enjoy Lush Yummy.”
It even rhymes.
Transparency
One of the most important aspects of Lush Yummy’s business model.
We source transparent plastic jars for our product, and they’re turning out to do a great job in containing the nut butter.
Because they’re transparent, you can see the product inside.
You can actually see the colour, and you can see the jar doesn’t contain stones or other elements to make the container weigh more.
Lush Yummy is serious about using these transparent plastic jars, and hopes to do so for a long time to come.
We want you, the customer, to benefit from our choice to be transparent.
Conclusion
As you can see, Lush Yummy is serious about its corporate social responsibility, and will do anything in its power to stay the number one nut butter maker in the mid-upper Central Jeffreys Bay area.
Lush Yummy will prolly also try to spout all the good things they do on social media, so the whole world can see it and say, “Wow, what a company. I want to buy their nut butter. I don’t know what it tastes like, but hey, they’re saying they do stuff they think will better communities and the environment, and that’s good enough for me.”
Or the company won’t.
It’ll simply continue to make a nut butter that tastes superb and do things in such a manner, so its left hand doesn’t know what its right hand is doing.