Sold two jars of nut butter to a colleague the other day.
He was one of the original testers, and took home one of my first samples to his wife and kids.
His laaitie enjoyed the original tester, so when daddy arrived home with two full jars of nut butter, naturally he wanted to taste test it again.
The following morning, when mommy asked him what he wanted on his school lunch sandwiches, it was Lush Yummy!
When my colleague told me this heart-warming story, I was elated.
Did I go fuzzy all over and get teary-eyed?
No!
That’s GAYEE!
My head started spinning up dollar signs.
I realised I’m targeting the wrong demographic.
Actually, there is no targeting.
This is all part of my unbranding strategy.
I’m simply creating content that’s not politically correct, and will be rejected by many.
I’m not sharing it to social media, cos social media is ridiculous, stupid and downright bad for you.
I make a delicious nut butter, but that’s not important in branding.
You must punt some issue if you want success; push the popular narrative.
Having a delicious product is not enough.
That needs to change.
I need to make a concerted effort to run ads that target kids.
I ran the idea past some parents at Green Room, our coworking space in Jeffreys Bay, and was met with a mixed response.
Mostly negative, to be honest.
Downright abysmally adverse, actually.
Couldn’t understand why, though.
I think my ideas for reaching kids are brilliant.
One idea is to run ads on popular kiddies shows, telling kids that their parents don’t love them if they’re not buying them Lush Yummy nut butter.
“And remember, kids, if your mommy or daddy doesn’t buy you Lush Yummy nut butter, they probably don’t love you, and are most likely looking for a replacement right at this moment!”
After the ad, throw in a phone number the kids can call to expose their evil parents.
This should be sufficient marketing to get the orders flooding in.
Apparently that’s not a good marketing strategy.
Dunno why.
It checks all the boxes:
- It gives the kids a nutritious alternative to sweets.
- It teaches them they have a duty to expose their parents whenever they don’t get what they want.
- The government will love your kids. That’s a great place to be, right?
- It teaches them the importance of being able to read.
- The phone number must be understood to be typed into the phone they no doubt already own.
- It teaches them that they can have anything they want.
- This is in line with the stuff people share on Facebook and LinkedIn, so it should be accepted by the masses.
They want to introduce gender studies to small kids, and all sorts of other weird things, so why can’t I introduce nut butter studies?
I should expand Lush Yummy into schooling.
Would you enrol your kids in the Lush Yummy school?
Remember, if you don’t, you obviously don’t love them.