Checked my Google Search Console data the other day, just to see if Lush Yummy has started dominating the SERPs yet for keywords like nut butter, awesome chow, the world’s greatest nut butter, better than KFC, that sort of thing.
Saw the following in the search log: I hate butter.
I struggle to even type that.
It’s like having to listen to a racist joke.
It brings up so many questions.
The search query, not the racist joke.
- What about butter does this person hate? Is it the taste? The texture?
- Why did they Google it?
- Why does Google list my site as a possible result for such a vile search term?
- Does this person vote ANC?
- Why is this person given access to anything technological if they don’t know how to use it?
- Is this person woke?
- Is Alcatraz still used as a prison?
I just cannot understand how anybody could hate butter.
Wonder what they think of nut butter.
Would they walk up to me, slap me through the face, lean in and whisper through clenched teeth, “yes, nut butter too.”
Just to complete the scene in a Scandinavian crime TV series fashion, I’d probably jerk a jar of nut butter from my pocket, slowly unscrew the lid, remove a wooden spoon from my pocket (to make Gretha proud), dunk it into the nut butter, slowly lift it to my face, and start smearing it across my forehead, laughing hysterically.
Yeah, weird scene, I know.
But have you seen Scandinavian TV? Freaky.
And that’s what I think of somebody who googles: I hate butter.
It’s freaky.
It’s got to be a joke.
Any case, if you DON’T hate nut butter, get your hands on some Lush Yummy.
It’s getting great reviews, wouldn’t you know?
Look forward to receiving your order.